Easy Street - Downtown

I'm Nacho Friend.

Occasionally, happy hour can be a scam. What I'm referring to of course is when a decent bar has a decent happy hour and then they slowly whittle away at all the frills. This results in a phenomenon I describe as Urban Happy Hour Decay, or UHHD. Urban Happy Hour Decay is one of the biggest problems we face in modern times.

I personally attribute a largely unnoticed instance of UHHD in the 1980's to the current popularity of corporate happy hours offered by bozos like Applebee's and T.G.I. Fridays. Was this really Ronald Reagan's vision for America?

SCENARIO: A once thriving local bar offers a slew of happy hour specials. The food is well prepared and delicious, people enjoy the food while consuming libations. Business starts to slow. Rather than making proper adjustments or finding ways to drive new business, management decides to gradually reduce portion size and the quality of ingredients. The result? A bunch of terrible appetizers that aren't even worth the discounted happy hour price, let alone the actual menu price.

I feel that the quality of the food at Easy Street has declined significantly over the last four years. When they opened, the cuisine was quite remarkable. After our visit in January, I left hungry, angry and depressed. (Ok, you caught me. I was already depressed when I got there.) Several different apetizers are offered at a happy hour price of $6. This wasn't a terrible deal for the nachos.

However, for many of the other items on the happy hour menu, this was a real scam. For instance, if you order the happy hour chicken tenders you will receive three pathetic looking chicken strips that make the plate look awfully lonely. When we commented on the portion size the bartender reassured us that it was cool because we could have any type of sauce we wanted. That's $2 a chicken tender!!! I might as well just go eat at the country club. The country club I can't afford to join because of my outrageous chicken tender bills. 

Here is my advice. If a restaurant has a special happy hour menu, and the items on the happy hour menu aren't on the normal menu - don't be a chump. These items are put on the menu to distract you from the fact that management thinks you are a big drunk slob.

I told Uncle Larry I'd share my pizza with him. Uncle Larry died that night, of starvation.

I wouldn't recommend visiting Easy Street for happy hour unless you are forced to attend for some business function. Just pop across the street to the Grant Street Tavern where the snacks are free. I've had everything from free sandwiches to chicken wings, meatballs and hard boiled eggs at the Grant Street Tavern. The GST is basically the counterpoint to UHHD. Take that ghost of Reagan!

The Urban Tap - Southside

THE BEEF

You can tell just by looking at that steak sandwich that it was made with high quality ingredients. Delicious tender steak, pickled onions, lettuce, cheese and fresh crispy bread. One of the ways I judge a steak sandwich is based on how much it drips all over your plate when you try to eat the thing. Granted, this test is not a test of flavor or quality, but rather a test of how much care the restaurant takes in presenting and preparing their food. This sandwich didn't leave the quintessential puddle of gross I commonly associate with steak sandwiches. Great job Urban Tap!

The coleslaw  on the other hand was pretty bland. It was seriously lacking in flavor and I'd guess it was probably prepared several days in advance. (No one is perfect, right?) I think it could have greatly benefited from a little seasoning and perhaps even some jalapeno. It looks nice though.

The Urban Tap is one of many fancy looking establishments that have opened in the last few years in the Southside of Pittsburgh. The decor is very similar to that of Local right down the street. The beer list is extensive, the employees are attractive and the place looks really great. What surprised me about the Urban Tap was the type of food selections they offered and the associated price tags.

When I walk into a bar in the Southside I don't typically expect to be offered the option to purchase a $35 filet. If I was speculating in a vacuum I'd say that Urban Tap might have priced themselves out of the neighborhood. However, the place always seems to draw a strong crowd. Every time I walk by there are people dining - so I guess they might know their demographic better than I do.

The residents of Pittsburgh are starting to expect more from their food. I'd say that if the Urban Tap opened on Carson Street about five years ago they'd be laughed out of town. In this modern era of Pittsburgh dining, maybe it is possible to charge $35 dollars for a filet at a beer bar in a neighborhood that is notorious for public urination citations, crying bridesmaids and dudes named Shawn who all have the same haircut and don't wear winter jackets in January.

Bobby Hendrix

Snacks

So this swanky new joint just popped up on East Carson. Bobby Hendrix is located on 20th street at the site of the old Blue Iguana/City Grille. Bobby did a terrific job renovating the place, it has a a bit of a clubby vibe with a well decorated interior. The aquarium was everyone's favorite decoration, but I particularly appreciate the care they put into renovating the bathrooms. I'm always shocked at how some bar owners in the Southside will dump millions into renovations and completely neglect putting any work into the bathroom.

Fortunately, this is not what the restroom looks like at Bobby Hendrix. However, I believe this photo accurately depicts roughly 70% of the restrooms in the Southside. I think my next project may be The Southside Review of Toilets. The shit I've seen drinking in the Southside - literally.

Anyhow, the food that we tried at Bobby Hendrix was all delicious. I was fairly certain that I'd like everything as I was a big fan of Bobby's work at his last bar, Melange. In particular, my favorites were the hand cut french fries, the black bean hummus and the honey drizzled fried chicken. Bobby is a man who knows his chicken. His breading is a bit on the lighter side and the chicken is always wonderfully seasoned and fried to perfection.

Although it may look like Giles is dipping his chicken wing in the candle, I promise he isn't. Next time I go to Bobby Hendrix I'm looking forward to trying the buffalo chicken mac and cheese and something on a pretzel bun. I love those damn pretzel buns.

 

ASKA - NYC

This is not enough beef to satisfy anyone.

Our dearest friends Lou and Lewis from Tendo Review hosted our review of ASKA in fabulous Brooklyn, NY. Although I'm no expert on foraging or Scandinavia, I really enjoyed my meal. In particular I liked the 1023029 different drinks that were served with each baby course. You can read the full review below at the Tendo Review website.

PGHHH ASKA Review on Tendo Review

Pleasure Bar

Greens keep me regular.

My anglo grandmother always used to pronounce the word Italian "I-talian." She'd say things like, "a real I-talian lady made this pasta sauce, so you know it is going to be good." I don't know if that is a Pittsburgh thing or just something old-timers do.

Pleasure Bar is one of those old school I-talian institutions keenly ingrained in the psyche of Pittsburgh residents. It is kind of an odd spot for happy hour. The bar is well lit, clean and well staffed - there was no music playing in the background. The patrons consisted of old men reading newspapers, goombas in track suits eating various lasagnas and squirrelly looking women that probably used to do your cousin Vinny in the back seat of his Camero.

The happy hour isn't a great deal - fifty cents off every drink. However, the place was crowded so I guess they don't need to give large discounts. I always forget that some people like to go to nice places that don't smell like Satan's ashtray dumped in a urinal. 

I thought the food was slightly above average. I really enjoyed the fried Italian greens pictured above! It was a much larger dish than I was expecting for six dollars. Delicious greens sauteed in olive oil sprinkled with bits of prosciutto - I added hot sausage but you also have the choice of adding sweet sausage or beans.

These block me up.

These hand breaded provolone sticks weren't bad either. Provolone sticks are where it's at - mozzarella sticks are for paupers. The amount of sauce they gave me was kind of absurd. I hate wasting all of that sauce.  Everything else I tried was rather disappointing. The chicken parm just didn't pop. And the one item I was really excited for, the Italian eggroll, just didn't do it for me either. It was entirely lacking in texture and flavor. If I want I-talian in the dirty-burgh, I'm going to Stagioni or Storms. I'd like to add Alla Famiglia to that list, but no one will take me. (This is a Christmas hint to my girlfriend who doesn't read my blog.)

Mad Mex - the History and Allure of the Gobblerito

THE BEAST

Somehow, I've never had a Gobblerito. Sticking an entire Thanksgiving dinner in a burrito seems counter-intuitive, but I have to admit it was delicious. As you can see from the picture, this thing is a real beast. My dining companion did not finish her Gobblerito.

The Mad Mex Gobblerito consists of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, stuffing and a fine slathering of gravy. They also serve some mediocre cranberry sauce on the side! I enjoyed the presentation and I felt that the ingredients were well proportioned. Personally, I would have enjoyed less potatoes, but I also seem to be the guy who has the least potatoes on his Thanksgiving plate. I'm sure others would find the proportions appropriate.

 Based on some very brief internet research, it appears that these things are only available in Pittsburgh. This does not shock me as we are a very fat city obsessed with portion size. Urbandictionary.com credits Mad Mex with the creation of the Gobblerito and also offers this secondary definition for the term.  "Gobblerito" The action of jizzing into a borritto before tricking your friend into eating it. Example: Mr. Feeny pissed me off so I gave him a Gobblerito. Well, that sounds neat. Thanks Urbandictionary.

Never surrender.

This is how much of the Gobblerito I was able to consume before I was full. However, I went on to house the entire thing. Two hours later, it would be an understatement to say that I had buyer's remorse. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, this concoction was invented by Mad Mex's Kitchen Manager, Matt Glick. Here's to you Mr. Glick, thanks for the diabetes!

Buckhead's Saloon

POTACHOS

For quite sometime I went to Buckhead's every Tuesday night. They used to have this remarkable special where you could order twelve-ounce draft beers for twenty-five cents. They would only let you order three at a time, so we devised a scheme. Five of us would rotate ordering drafts and rotate bartenders. We'd hide our beers out of sight in the back of the bar until we amassed roughly 80-100 beers. Needless to say, they eventually caught on and ended the special. It was the first time I played a part in ruining a bar special. The dream is now dead. I'm relegated to spending a dollar-fifty on Blue Moons at 1311 on Tuesdays.

In all my days drinking at Buckhead's, I never tried the food. I think I may have had some cold chicken wings out of a chaffing dish once, but I'm pretty sure I never ordered anything. I genuinely expected to have to write a terrible review of a menu item that was simply listed as, "potachos." Imagine how shocked I was when they actually turned out to be a rather delicious snack.

Fresh cut potato chips slathered in bbq sauce and nacho cheese with a fine dusting of bacon. While I'm not exactly proud to admit that I consumed this dish, it was pretty damned good.  The textures and flavors worked together harmoniously. Exactly the type of snack you would want if you were attempting to consume 80-100 twelve-ounce draft beers or if you love NASCAR or hunting. My main complaint is that the kitchen fan must not have been working because my jacket smelled like potacho grease and hot trash for at least five days following my visit to Buckhead's.

Buckhead's can be a fun Pittsburgh bar to visit. They host all sorts of events, there's tons of space, they have all sorts of dead animals on the walls and the bartenders are cute. But there's something about the vibe of Station Square that makes you feel like you're trapped somewhere between the 1990's and 2004.