Or the Whale

Or the Octopus

This review must be prefaced with the statement that this restaurant is prohibitively expensive, and they know it. If they have not priced themselves out of the Pittsburgh market, perhaps I am just unaware of what good food costs. I worry that I am almost certainly becoming my father. A man that thinks all sandwiches should cost less than 6 dollars because he has failed to keep up with the times. I have to constantly remind myself that good food is expensive and the cost can be justified.

That's just the thing about Or the Whale though - the food is great. The above pictured octopus with fingerling potatoes was in fact so good that I went out and purchased my own fingerling potatoes to make at home, fell asleep cooking them, and nearly died of asphyxiation.

 I've never had octopus served with chimichurri sauce and potatoes. It was exquisite and prepared flawlessly. The octopus had just the right amount of char and a great mouth feel. 

Or the Trout

The smoked trout rillettes are really the only bargain item on the menu at a paltry $11. I thought it was quite nice that the dish arrived with a small salad to help me justify my existence. After all, I spent over $50 on two drinks and two appetizers. (I mean, god damn, I could buy like 70 pounds of bananas with that coin.)  Maybe that doesn't sound bad to you, but I think it is outrageous.

Here is a list of some menu items and their respective prices so you have an idea of what you are getting into.

Seafood Tower - $180
16 oz Ribeye - $65
Duck Burger - $45
Side Salad - $9

Getting old sucks, everything seems expensive.  Also, I'm pretty sure that Or the Whale has the most expensive hamburger in the city. Please prove me wrong in the comments.

Eddie Merlot's

Carpaccio

Eddie Merlot's has been open at the site of the old Palomino restaurant for the last year or so.  They did a wonderful job on the renovations. The space is very bright and roomy with a sprawling bar and a welcoming interior.You are practically obligated to dress up in order to sit at the bar.

Although the online menu advertises that the Pittsburgh location runs happy hour from 4 PM to 7 PM, the menu lies like a small time crook. The bartender informed me that happy hour ended at 6 PM and this is how things had been since the dawn of time.

If you are headed to Eddie's outside of the allotted time for happy hour, bring your checkbook. A domestic beer will run you upwards of $6. This means that if you work at a McDonald's in the greater Pittsburgh area an entire days pay will only get you slightly buzzed at Eddie Merlot's - which, of course, will be essential because you likely hate your job at McDonald's.

We tried a few appetizers to help us savor our expensive domestic beers. The smoked bacon and brussels sprout flat bread was a huge disappointment. The base was more of a fancy cracker than a traditional doughy crust. The toppings were also a let down. The flavors of the brussels sprouts and the manchego cheese were entirely overpowered by the salty sweet combination of the bacon and tomato jam.

The carpaccio was quite tasty but the dish was just trying too hard, like a beautiful woman covered in whore's makeup. Thinly sliced raw filet mingnon needs few accompaniments. For my money I like carpaccio prepared simply with some oil, arugula and parmesan cheese. The Eddie Merlot's version came with some wonderful potato chips, water cress, capers, truffle aioli and a thick balsamic glaze - all swimming in  a pool of oil. Although it was delicious, I'm once again very concerned about the status of my gout.

I should say that overall I recommend Eddie Merlot's as the service was fantastic and the interior was extremely lavish. However, try to make it during their incorrectly advertised happy hour so you can take home a portion of your hard earned salary.