Mario's Southside Pizza Party

Talk pizza to me!

As you can tell from the magical mist rising above this Mario's pizza buffet, Mario's makes magical pizza. I've been going to Mario's for many many years. So many in fact, that I'd written the food off entirely. I just never really considered going to Mario's for food as Mario's was always the place I went to try and meet beautiful women to take home and introduce to my parents. (This has been a massive failure.)

On Thursdays the pizzas at Mario's are half price! This is a very good deal as you can get a large specialty pie for a little over $9. I'm really not sure where Mario's got their pizza recipe, but it is outstanding. Easily one of the best items on their menu along with the ribs and beef nachos. In terms of a comparable Southside pies, I'd say their pizza is better than Sal's and Genaro's, but not as good as Michael's.  I typically find pizza to be one of the hardest foods to describe. From now on I'll be using the following matrix for my pizza reviews.

Although I realize this type of score card is typically reserved for pizza competitions, I look at life as one big pizza competition. You go around enjoying pizzas and then one day you die. I'm a modern optimist.

TACO PIZZA

Last Sunday I was at Mario's with my boy Big R and I saw the waitress about to throw out someone's boxed leftovers. I asked if I could have them right before she heaved them in the trash like a bag of dead puppies, but she told me that I was being gross. She also said, "it wasn't even real pizza, it was taco pizza."

Then she threw the pizza in the trash, along with all of my dreams and hopes for a brighter tomorrow. Also, I feel this tragedy was somehow related to the unfortunate death of Robin Williams.