Franktuary – Lawrenceville - Guest Post

DRINKS!

Guest post by Ryan Minoski of RadioChumps.com

Hotdogs and beer: the dinner of champions. Franktuary has elevated this ballpark cuisine to new levels, and they mix one hell of a cocktail to boot.

Happy hour runs on the early side here. Arrive at 4:00 to take full advantage of the specials, like half-price poutine (fancy talk for fries). Unless you’re French Canadian/seriously love brown gravy, steer toward the Buffalo fries—a heaping plate of spuds topped with spicy wing sauce, bleu cheese, and chopped celery. Use a fork and keep your drinking hand free.

FRIES!

On that note, the drink special includes $4 drafts and $7 cocktails, which is not a spectacular deal until you taste one. The old fashioned was one of the smoothest I have ever had. And the Pittsburgh sour, made with Wigle rye and Pittsburgh Winery zinfandel, does the Burgh proud. As far as drafts go, the bar offers a respectable selection of Pennsylvania craft brews… and Iron City.

Corndogs are also half-price during happy hour, but stick with the shop’s claim to fame: frankfurters. The toppings are what make these dogs, and Franktuary lays them on thick. The Pittsburgh dog is covered with sweet, relishy slaw and baby pierogies, making for a truly unique flavor/texture combo. Franktuary’s take on Icelandic hotdogs, the Rekjavik, is a ketchup, mustard, and remoulade drenched dog with a powerful but not offensive onion bite. On the down side, the sauce to dog ratio can be too heavy at times, like on the New Yorker—a classic kraut, onion, and mustard dog where the spicy brown mustard dominates the palate and cleanses the sinuses (order this if you have a head cold).

DOGZ!

All in all, Franktuary’s happy hour runs a top-notch fry special and an average drink special, but this is a solid excuse to try some unusual hotdogs and high-quality cocktails in a great atmosphere.

Proper Brick Oven and Tap Room

Like beers, for a baby.

Here were some little beers we had. Before I go on a negative pizza-rant I should say that Proper has a great beer selection. Pretty much top class in terms of your downtown-specific options. (When I say downtown I mean the Golden Triangle exclusive of South Side, Shadyside, etc and for that matter the phrase "Golden Triangle" is a very underutilized phrase.)

For around $10 you can get a flight of any four drafts. Not a bad deal if you make sure to get the ones that are 9% alcohol and above.

Now, the pizza at Proper is a bunch of garbage. There's nothing more awful than seeing a restaurant with such a warm ambiance, nice staff and beautiful wood fired oven deliver such sub-par pizza. Pictured above is the carnivore pizza with San Marzano tomatoes, house-made sweet and hot Italian sausage, spicy pepperoni, bacon and house-made mozzarella. It sounds and looks pretty good, right?

WRONG. The bacon on the pizza must have been the house smoked bacon candy with the maple glaze. It was entirely overpowering. All I could taste was the sweet and smoky bacon, the other flavors were almost entirely lost in the mix. I also have to say that I was not the biggest fan of the cheese either. Why make something in-house if it is just going to be awful? The pie was attractive but dry, lacking in depth of flavor. (Sexual innuendo.) I was very disappointed.

To quote one of the other patrons who ordered a pizza, "the selling point of the bianca pizza was burrata, a mozzarella made from water buffalo [milk], filled with cream. I expected a dairy orgasm all over my pizza. What I got was a pizza with a heavy roasted garlic flavor dominating some discernible cheese and a floppy crust."

Although I would personally never expect or desire a dairy orgasm, I would save my money and skip Proper for dinner. Just have a few drinks and wander somewhere else down the street.  

Carson City Saloon - Southside

I've probably been to Carson City roughly five million times. It is my go-to spot for Sunday-funday Steelers drinking and run-of-the-mill goofing off in the Southside. I've tried mostly everything on the menu, and the nachos are without a doubt your best option.

Not to trash talk the Carson City pizza boat, but the nachos are boss. They usually come out of the kitchen in under ten minutes heaped on a giant pizza tray. My only complaint is that these particular nachos pictured above could have been baked about a minute or two longer. The cheese wasn't melted to perfection. On the plus side they also did not come out as a soppy mess that required a fork. If I'm eating nachos with a fork, those are not nachos. That's what I call taco pie, which is what the Aqua Teen Hunger Force eats for Thanksgiving dinner.

PASS THE TACO PIE

Growing up, and for most of my adult life, I had always taken nachos for granted. I just assumed they were this culinary delight that had existed since the dawn of time. I mean honestly, it is hard to imagine a life without nachos. They seem to be such an obvious combination of ingredients. However, nachos were actually invented in 1943 in Mexico.  Some dude named Ignacio threw a few old tortillas in an oven and the rest is history. Now we celebrate Nacho Day every year on October 21.

Sienna Sulla Piazza - Market Square Downtown Pittsburgh

The food at Sienna Sulla is really very good. I would not recommend dropping by for happy hour with more than four guests unless you have a reservation. The bar is small, the bartenders don't like flash photography and being rowdy is generally discouraged.

The crowd tends to be a little older and the atmosphere isn't encouraging for slamming Miller Lites, but the food stands out. The mozzarella stuffed giant veal meatball pictured above is fantastic. Well seasoned, well textured, perfectly paired with toasted pine nuts and entirely delicious. I personally think that pine nuts are one of the most underutilized ingredients. Although the meatball is a rather simple creation, I find other restaurants have no problem finding some clever way to ruin it.

This was the absolute best thing ever.

Chicken liver mousse is always good, but Sienna prepared it flawlessly. Adorned with crushed pistachios and honey, I think I could enjoy this dish everyday for the rest of my life. It had a wonderful sticky texture and a delicate sweetness. Be careful though, I totally covered my tie in honey. (There must be some way to make this sexual. Please indulge in the comments below.)

The second best thing ever.

If you aren't going to order the veal stuffed meatball, I recommend going with the meatball flat bread. Sienna serves the sucker covered in fresh basil,  san marzano tomato sauce, provolone and one of the most perfect ricotta cheeses I've ever tried. I don't even like ricotta cheese, but whatever variety was heaped on this meatball flat bread was very good. They must have gotten it from the fancy Giant Eagle in Shadyside.

The quality of the food and the ingredients used at Sienna Sulla are easily some of the best you can get in Market Square.  Again though, don't try going here for happy hour with your sorority sisters. Although the drinks are reasonably priced, the bar frowns on shenanigans. The bartender wouldn't take a second picture of our happy hour crew because he said we were disturbing the other patrons. Slag off other patrons! No one tells us how to act after consuming most of the wine at the bar and half of the meatballs in the greater Pittsburgh area.

Pittsburgh Pizza - A Year in Review (Part I)

In 2013 I set out to hit as many of the pizza restaurants as possible on the Pittsburgh Magazine list of 25 Superb Pittsburgh Pizzas. Despite my love of pizza, this was a surprisingly difficult challenge. Out of twenty-five pizza joints I only made it to seven and I only had the opportunity to seriously review four. This gave me a new found respect for the folks at 101 Achievements Blog who attempt to complete 101 activities every year. Cheers to you Jen and Mike!

Here are my thoughts on four of the delicious pies I tried this year. They are listed from best to worst. Honestly, I was pretty shocked at the stark contrast in terms of quality and deliciousness.


Beto's - South Hills 

This is what I see when I dream.

The South Hills area seems to have some super secret lock-down on high quality pizza. For whatever reason the majority of the best pizza restaurants in Pittsburgh are located somewhere in the Dormont/Mt. Lebo/Brookline area. Is this where all the Italians hang out or something?

Beto's was the best new pizza I tried in 2013. I'd compare it to Police Station Pizza in Ambridge. Thick square cut Sicilian style pizza with the toppings heaped on while the pie is still hot. Many people prefer to have their toppings baked on, but I think they are incredible when thrown on fresh from the oven with this style of pizza.

The remarkable thing about Beto's is that your order is up in about 3-5 minutes. Our pizza arrived before we even finished sharing a side salad. I went with extra cheese, pepperonni, mushrooms, bannana peppers and tomato. I honestly can't rave enough about how fresh, crisp, delicious and flavorful Beto's pizza is. Despite being thick, the crust is super crunchy and it requires some real stamina to consume. It was really fun watching my pizza-partner, Lauren, try to chew her pie. I think she only got through about two slices before the restaurant was closing.

PRO TIP: get extra napkins at Beto's you'll need them when trying to eat your pizza.






Slice - South Hills

The Big Louie

Slice stood out among the pizza I consumed in 2013. This incredible pie was baked for us in about ten minutes while we hung out in Slice's pleasant dining room. The Big Louie pie consisted of mushrooms, pepperoni and hot sausage. One of the first things I noticed was that the hot sausage was fresh and delicious, possibly even from a local butcher. There's nothing I hate more than when a pizza place uses frozen super processed sausage that ends up tasting like it came out of a soup can. Well done old chaps at Slice!

I thought the pie was a bit salty and the crust was a little too thin for my taste. I really liked how well done the pie was and I thought it was an excellent value for the money. I believe Slice is trying to emulate a New York style pizza, but hey, this is Pittsburgh. While I believe New York style pizza is some of the best in the world, I say go wild and create a style of your own.

PRO TIP: The friendly staff at Slice sells pizza by the slice daily. If you are feeling non-committal you can drop in for just a slice (dad jokes).







Nappoli - Squirrel Hill 

Cook me more!

I was a little surprised that Nappoli in Squirrel Hill made the list of Pittsburgh's finest. It was totally acceptable pizza, but I wouldn't rank it in the top tier. Napoli features a thicker crust, in particular I thought the dough and toppings were high quality. The sauce could have used a little work in my professional pizza opinion.

We ordered this pie with mushrooms, pepperoni and feta.  It was one of those obvious jobs where they threw our toppings on an already made pie, but didn't let it bake enough when it went back in the oven. Unlike Beto's this strategy didn't work as well because the pie was most likely intentionally under-baked the first time around and wasn't fresh when it was prepared to our specification. It just wasn't as ewww-gewwwwy delicious as I would have liked, but it was absolutely superior to any pie from one of the large commercial outfits, EG Domino's, Pizza Slut or Papa John's.

PRO TIP: Go here if there is a long wait at Aiello's or Mineo's, it is right up the street!

 






Giovanni's - Dormont 

Giovanni's has a number of locations throughout the city, but I wouldn't particularly reccomend you go out of your way to visit any of them. The location in Dormont gave me the creeps. The dining room is also a chocolate store. Do you guys specialize in pizza or chocolates?

We ordered the neapolitan margarita pizza with bacon. It was entirely underwhelming. The sauce had a bit of a pleasant kick, but it ran rather thin. The toppings seemed haphazardly strewn across the pie and the whole thing just seemed overly salty but still flavorless in my opinion. This was the only pizza we tried where me and my pizza-partner argued over who was going to take the leftovers home because nobody wanted them. The stuffed pepperoni roll cheese bread was far superior to the pizza. The cheese bread featured a very yeasty thick crust with a generous amount of cheese and pepperoni.

I believe Giovanni's must have been a better pizzeria some time ago in the distant past. Their inclusion on the list of Pittsburgh's finest is a mystery to say the least. I think I could name at least five or ten more deserving candidates.

PRO TIP: Try the chocolate and send me an email to let me know if it is any good. 

Stack'd - Shadyside

The Johnny Jakes Special Fire Burger

Before I come across as a negative jerk, I want to say that I really liked Stack'd. The staff was awesome, I really liked the upstairs bar and the drink specials were incredible! Discounted yuengling pitchers throughout the evening and two dollar well drinks later in the night. That is honestly about as good as drink specials get, especially for Shadyside. One point of interest, they were willing to serve their well drinks as shots for two bucks. I've found that most bars aren't willing to do this for a well drink special. Mad props Stack'd.

It looks better than it was.

Here is my burger, I named him wimpy because he looked so small compared to the Johnny Jakes Special Burger, pictured above, and because he was a particularly sad burger. The nice thing about Stack'd is that they allow you to fill out a worksheet when ordering your burger, similar to a sushi restaurant or the pizza worksheet provided by Bites N' Brews on Elwood Street. I thought this concept was remarkable. Before visiting Stack'd I probably spent about twenty-five excruciating minutes carefully designing my dream burger. You can find a copy of the menu worksheet here.

After extreme deliberation I went with the double stack with provolone cheese, spicy ketchup and mustard, bacon, egg, banana peppers, extra pickles and slammin' bbq sauce on the side. Although the toppings were great, the burger itself was particularly dry and lifeless. Stack'd claims that they grind their own meat in house, but if they do I'd agree with my friend Dave that they are probably wasting their time.

I believe that a similar result could be achieved from a frozen store-bought patty. In terms of just the meat, I've had better burgers from Wendy's. Additionally, the bun tasted like it was at least a couple of days old. Kind of like a hamburger bun you might expect from a cookout at the soup kitchen. It seems very unfortunate that they take so much care in providing such a large variety of incredible toppings and so little care in the preparation and freshness of the meat and bun.

Deep fried Mac n Cheese!

Early in the evening I asked the staff what I should try other than a burger. They readily suggested the deep fried mac n cheese. It was particularly bomb and I was appreciative of the recommendation. A wonderfully crispy exterior with delicious gooey mac n cheese on the inside. I loved the sauce they served with the mac n cheese bites as well. Until Stack'd gets their burger situation worked out I'd recommend sticking with the mac n cheese bites and the outrageous drink specials.  Additionally, it is worth noting that they've also opened a cheesesteak restaurant that operates with the same made to order strategy. Hopefully they get their beef from a different supplier.

Easy Street - Downtown

I'm Nacho Friend.

Occasionally, happy hour can be a scam. What I'm referring to of course is when a decent bar has a decent happy hour and then they slowly whittle away at all the frills. This results in a phenomenon I describe as Urban Happy Hour Decay, or UHHD. Urban Happy Hour Decay is one of the biggest problems we face in modern times.

I personally attribute a largely unnoticed instance of UHHD in the 1980's to the current popularity of corporate happy hours offered by bozos like Applebee's and T.G.I. Fridays. Was this really Ronald Reagan's vision for America?

SCENARIO: A once thriving local bar offers a slew of happy hour specials. The food is well prepared and delicious, people enjoy the food while consuming libations. Business starts to slow. Rather than making proper adjustments or finding ways to drive new business, management decides to gradually reduce portion size and the quality of ingredients. The result? A bunch of terrible appetizers that aren't even worth the discounted happy hour price, let alone the actual menu price.

I feel that the quality of the food at Easy Street has declined significantly over the last four years. When they opened, the cuisine was quite remarkable. After our visit in January, I left hungry, angry and depressed. (Ok, you caught me. I was already depressed when I got there.) Several different apetizers are offered at a happy hour price of $6. This wasn't a terrible deal for the nachos.

However, for many of the other items on the happy hour menu, this was a real scam. For instance, if you order the happy hour chicken tenders you will receive three pathetic looking chicken strips that make the plate look awfully lonely. When we commented on the portion size the bartender reassured us that it was cool because we could have any type of sauce we wanted. That's $2 a chicken tender!!! I might as well just go eat at the country club. The country club I can't afford to join because of my outrageous chicken tender bills. 

Here is my advice. If a restaurant has a special happy hour menu, and the items on the happy hour menu aren't on the normal menu - don't be a chump. These items are put on the menu to distract you from the fact that management thinks you are a big drunk slob.

I told Uncle Larry I'd share my pizza with him. Uncle Larry died that night, of starvation.

I wouldn't recommend visiting Easy Street for happy hour unless you are forced to attend for some business function. Just pop across the street to the Grant Street Tavern where the snacks are free. I've had everything from free sandwiches to chicken wings, meatballs and hard boiled eggs at the Grant Street Tavern. The GST is basically the counterpoint to UHHD. Take that ghost of Reagan!