LOCAL - Southside

Unlock Pittsburgh Wing Crew

I like writing positive reviews. They make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy, no feelings are hurt, hand shakes are readily extended and everyone smiles. Local did a great job providing us with a really nice happy hour. They graciously extended the time frame for drink and food specials. All draft beers for only $3 and this included the nicer drafts like the Great Divide Yeti. (Please note that you should not try to drink five Yetis in one sitting. At 9.50% ABV it will jazz you up like a sad clown. )

I was especially excited for happy hour at Local as the Unlock Pittsburgh wing crew showed up to partake in the fun. The end result was a disaster, a thick brown disaster.  There is one essential rule when serving chicken wings. DON'T SERVE ME UNDERCOOKED CHICKEN WINGS.  The wings at Local actually showed some potential due to a couple of decent flavors, in particular the garbage wings and the honey bbq. However, as you can tell from the picture below, the wings were extremely undercooked. This was remarkably disappointing considering that we ordered them extra crispy.

Diarrhea city, bro.

I hate to write a bad review of a happy hour that showed so much promise and a restaurant that is generally decent. (I like the pizza and the other appetizers have always been pretty good.) But I just can't allow such a disaster to go without remark.

If it was up to me Local would be forced to place an astrix on their menu that states: "WARNING, consuming undercooked poultry can greatly increase your chances of butt trauma."

STANDARD - Washington D.C.

PIG HEAD

So occasionally I am so amazed by a menu offering that I simply cannot say no. Standard in Washington D.C. is this wonderful outdoor bar with a pleasant selection of German beers. While looking over the beer menu I noticed something amazing. An entire pig's head for only 18 dollars!! Although I had just eaten a large breakfast pizza, I simply couldn't resist.

Piggin' Out.

The most difficult part of dealing with this pig's head was determining how to eat the thing. The staff at Standard gave us very little instruction. The waiter simply said, "just flip it over and starting spooning it out." We ate most of the cheek meat which was succulent and wonderful, very fatty and similar to pork shoulder. Next I believe we ate part of the brain and some of the throat glands, I'm not really sure. I would describe that meat as a little more coarse in texture with a much richer flavor. We managed to garner the attention of the entire restaurant while trying to eat the thing, we even convinced some other patrons to order their own pig's head.

While the staff wasn't very helpful by way of instruction, they did wrap the rest of the head for my friend Nick Smyth to take home. I can't wait to hear how he used it. (Hopefully to scare an enemy by leaving it on his doorstep.)

 

River City Inn - Downtown

River City Inn is one of those strange little downtown bars that is quite easy to overlook. It is situated in PPG place in an unassuming little facade - dark wood interior, smokey and quaint. Although they specialize in lunch, if you call ahead they can arrange for dinner time snacks.

The owner Ed was kind enough to provide us with this nice tray of sandwiches and some SHRIMP. The drinks are reasonably cheap, the food has no defining characteristics and the crowd is warm and friendly. Certain foods just aren't reviewable. These sandwiches and shrimp are such foods.

Here is where this blog post takes a dark turn. Before last week I'd never visited the River City Inn. I'd never heard of anyone visiting. I barely knew the place existed. From our visit I gleaned one good tale of despair that I think everyone must hear. This bar used to have a fat and jolly old bartender who had worked at the River City Inn for over twenty years. He used to throw parties for people in the service industry and was apparently a very fun and well-liked gentleman.

I guess one night he closed the bar down as usual and jumped in the river, never to be seen alive again. He must not have liked the shrimp.

Perle

Ceviche

I'm honestly at a loss of words as to how I can describe Perle. I'll make a run at it anyhow. Perle is trendy champagne night club - meets Jersey Shore -  meets fifty-something fuck-scene. The bar was loaded with older gentlemen escorted by much younger ladies, and everyone was dressed for prom. But not the prom you went to, prom from a movie where Usher, Justin Beiber and Lindsay Lohan are still in high school in their mid fifties. The in look for men was muscles, tinted sunglasses and graphic tee shirts. As for the ladies, plastic surgery is a must and dresses should be short enough to partially expose your lady parts.We just happened in on a night where there was a lingerie calendar signing, so maybe Perle isn't always so intense.

Regarding the food, I don't have a single complaint. I tried the ceviche, the bruschetta, Cuban sandwiches, shrimp salad and crepes. (There were lots of free samples out for everyone to enjoy.) All were top notch. From the ceviche, pictured above, it is evident that Perle is owned by the same individuals who run the restaurant Seviche in the cultural district. A wonderful array of flavors, well presented and delicately balanced - very similar to what you would get down the street at Seviche.The real specialty of Perle (other than debauchery and plastic surgery) seems to be the crepes. The menu has about ten different varieties and the banana dessert crepe pictured below was fantastic. We actually fought over the last few bites.

Here is my overall take on the bar. Good food, interesting decor and a great kitchen staff. For a place that claims to be a champagne bar, it seems unreasonable that their champagne taps don't work. If you are looking for a casual happy hour, this is not your place. If you are a regular at Diesel and the Southside, and you are starting to feel too old to go to Diesel, this is your place.

Gandy Dancer - Grand Concourse

PUT THEM IN MY FACE

I really enjoy oysters. So much in fact that I have a short list of restaurants where I will eat oysters in this fine city. That list includes Wholey's, Eleven, NOLA and Roland's. Today I'm happy to say that I have another restaurant to add to that list.

The Gandy Dancer is a strange little bar that is situated in the far end of the Grand Concourse. I had no idea that the Grand Concourse had a bar, let alone a bar with one of the best happy hours in the city. One dollar PEI oysters, two dollar drafts, three dollar well drinks, five dollar mussels and a variety of other discounted food items under five dollars.(Sashimi tuna, sliders, cheese sticks, etc.) Like I said, one of the best deals in the city.

The oysters were fresh and huge! I prefer a spicy vinaigrette such as vinaigrette served by Eleven to the cocktail sauce I was given at the Gandy Dancer - but for a dollar per oyster I can't even complain. Six different people from our group ordered oysters and I didn't hear a single complaint.... that is, about the oysters. The Gandy Dancer must not be used to seeing large crowds. Although the bar can comfortably seat upwards of seventy-five people, the staff seemed astonishingly overwhelmed by our group. It was nearly impossible to get a drink, food orders were mixed up or lost all together and general pandemonium ensued. Overall they were very good sports about the entire matter, but some happy hour guests (angry Ben) felt so slighted by the poor service that they actually huffed out of the bar in a rage.

Angry Ben is angry.

In case you were wondering, a gandy dancer is a slang term used for early railroad workers who laid and maintained railroad tracks in the years before the work was done by machines. If you stop by the Gandy Dancer, do not wear your railroad clothes. Everyone else will be in a suit or an elegant prom dress.

Pro tips: go for the three dollar portabella mushroom fries and the chicken tandoori flat bread sandwich and make sure to get your picture taken in front of the grand staircase. Avoid showing up in a large crowd unless you've been given assurances the bar will be adequately staffed!
 
 

Papa J's Centro

I HEART PIZZA

Legend has it that Papa J's downtown location, situated in one of Pittsburgh's oldest standing buildings, is haunted. I guess it used to be a brothel, they've been in business at their downtown location for over fifteen years! 

I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts. My rational mind says no. If ghosts are real, where's the proof? Certainly someone would be able to accurately document and capture some type of paranormal experience in a clear and convincing manner, right? I think I believe in ghosts in so much as other people believe in ghosts. Their belief that ghosts exist creates a reality in which ghosts exist. Objectivity is passe.

I've visited Papa J's twice in the last week. I was hoping to scare myself, and I was successful. The chicken marsala was so bad -  it literally scared me. A thin watery sauce and chicken that tasted at least a day old with a rubbery texture and awful flavor. The chicken on my pizza, pictured above, wasn't any better. However, I shouldn't run my mouth about the pizza (lest the ghosts get me).

The pizza at Papa J's was good. In particular I thought the cheese and toppings, other than the chicken, were very flavorful and well presented. I had the chicken pesto pizza with fresh tomato, red onion and toasted pine nuts. The crust was well prepared and I believe they said it was made in house. I was actually amazed by the amount of pine nuts on the pizza. Pine nuts are expensive! I would wager that the pine nuts on this pizza cost more than all of the other ingredients combined. It is always nice to see a place that doesn't skimp on toppings to try and save a buck.

Overall, I really liked this bar. The bar itself is a very unique place with a lot of personality. (Dark wood interior with intricate fixtures and many smaller intimate rooms separated by a central bar.) Other than the chicken, I felt no feelings of discomfort or paranormal activity while visiting Papa J's. The bartenders are a lot of fun and the patrons can get a little rowdy, they were basically falling out of their chairs on my first visit. I have to say that I would go back to this bar over other bars with better specials and better food. I would prefer to sit at Papa J's over Easy Street any day of the week. Personality goes a long way. 

If you visit Papa J's, skip the entrees, try the pizza and stay for the potential ghost sightings. If you don't manage to scare yourself with the cuisine, just be patient and the patrons will take care of the rest.

 

TRUTH

Duck Sliders

The truth is that I was pleasently surprised by Truth in the Southside. I had no idea to expect from a fancy looking bar just off of Carson Street that is very close in proximity to the lively but slummy Jack's Rose Bar.

The $5 manhattans were strong, the sliders were incredible and the ambiance was quite charming. (Exposed brick, high ceilings, waitresses you would bring home to your mother.) Some old folks enjoying their dinner in the separated dining room even went out of their way to recommend the restaurant to patrons passing by on the street - this does not happen often in my experience.

The duck confit sliders, pictured above, were truthfully delicious. The duck had a wonderful flavor and texture and the roquefort cheese was a very pleasant addition. I actually enjoyed the beef tenderloin slider I tried even more. It was easily some of the most tender beef I've been served anywhere in Pittsburgh. The slider fillings were top notch, but I believe there is some room for improvement on the choice of bread. Hawaiian rolls just aren't appropriate for all occasions.

Scallops

No one would share their scallops with me, as you can tell the portions are a bit small. I heard they were very good though, and worth the long wait. (The kitchen must have been backed up because some of our orders took upwards of forty minutes.) If I was visiting Truth again for the first time I would avoid the Italian meat and cheese plates. Although the portion size was respectable, I found the selections to be rather boring and mediocre. If I go back I will be sure to try to house specialty fried cheese - the presentation, smell and appearance were just fantastic. Think flaming cheese delivered to the bar and then extinguished with lemon juice. (Sort of like the flaming Dr. Peppers they serve at Jack's across the street but for people over the age of 19.)