Mad Mex - the History and Allure of the Gobblerito

THE BEAST

Somehow, I've never had a Gobblerito. Sticking an entire Thanksgiving dinner in a burrito seems counter-intuitive, but I have to admit it was delicious. As you can see from the picture, this thing is a real beast. My dining companion did not finish her Gobblerito.

The Mad Mex Gobblerito consists of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, stuffing and a fine slathering of gravy. They also serve some mediocre cranberry sauce on the side! I enjoyed the presentation and I felt that the ingredients were well proportioned. Personally, I would have enjoyed less potatoes, but I also seem to be the guy who has the least potatoes on his Thanksgiving plate. I'm sure others would find the proportions appropriate.

 Based on some very brief internet research, it appears that these things are only available in Pittsburgh. This does not shock me as we are a very fat city obsessed with portion size. Urbandictionary.com credits Mad Mex with the creation of the Gobblerito and also offers this secondary definition for the term.  "Gobblerito" The action of jizzing into a borritto before tricking your friend into eating it. Example: Mr. Feeny pissed me off so I gave him a Gobblerito. Well, that sounds neat. Thanks Urbandictionary.

Never surrender.

This is how much of the Gobblerito I was able to consume before I was full. However, I went on to house the entire thing. Two hours later, it would be an understatement to say that I had buyer's remorse. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, this concoction was invented by Mad Mex's Kitchen Manager, Matt Glick. Here's to you Mr. Glick, thanks for the diabetes!

Buckhead's Saloon

POTACHOS

For quite sometime I went to Buckhead's every Tuesday night. They used to have this remarkable special where you could order twelve-ounce draft beers for twenty-five cents. They would only let you order three at a time, so we devised a scheme. Five of us would rotate ordering drafts and rotate bartenders. We'd hide our beers out of sight in the back of the bar until we amassed roughly 80-100 beers. Needless to say, they eventually caught on and ended the special. It was the first time I played a part in ruining a bar special. The dream is now dead. I'm relegated to spending a dollar-fifty on Blue Moons at 1311 on Tuesdays.

In all my days drinking at Buckhead's, I never tried the food. I think I may have had some cold chicken wings out of a chaffing dish once, but I'm pretty sure I never ordered anything. I genuinely expected to have to write a terrible review of a menu item that was simply listed as, "potachos." Imagine how shocked I was when they actually turned out to be a rather delicious snack.

Fresh cut potato chips slathered in bbq sauce and nacho cheese with a fine dusting of bacon. While I'm not exactly proud to admit that I consumed this dish, it was pretty damned good.  The textures and flavors worked together harmoniously. Exactly the type of snack you would want if you were attempting to consume 80-100 twelve-ounce draft beers or if you love NASCAR or hunting. My main complaint is that the kitchen fan must not have been working because my jacket smelled like potacho grease and hot trash for at least five days following my visit to Buckhead's.

Buckhead's can be a fun Pittsburgh bar to visit. They host all sorts of events, there's tons of space, they have all sorts of dead animals on the walls and the bartenders are cute. But there's something about the vibe of Station Square that makes you feel like you're trapped somewhere between the 1990's and 2004.

Fanattics - Squirrel Hill

TACO PIZZA

The crazy lady bartender at Fanattics told me that they want to close Fanattics and turn it into a fancy craft beer bar. (I'd like to note that they chose to spell the word fanatic as fanattic and I am a learned man.) I used to like craft beer bars. Now I realize that there are just too many of them popping up and I really don't like many of the beers they offer anyhow. When did dive bars and juke joints go out of style? Why do I need fancy beer when I can get Yuenglings for $1.50 each at Fanattics? That's roughly four to six Yuenglings for the price of one cheap craft beer.

At a craft beer bar I typically expect a bunch of dumb shit on an illegible menu written on a chalkboard like wraps, some dish containing the words "thai" and "salad," and $26 hot dogs. You know what I don't expect to see at a craft beer bar? Motherfucking taco pizza. This grilled taco pizza was exquisite. A great cheese blend, plenty of meat and a nice grilled crispy crust.  Taco pizza is in fact so good that it has an entire Facebook page dedicated to its resurrection. Hey Pizza Hut, Bring Back Taco Pizza

Find me one Facebook page dedicated to bringing back craft beer bars. I dare you. 

These are arguably the finest chicken wings in Squirrel Hill. Additionally, they are some of the only chicken wings I've had in Squirrel Hill. I thought the wings were obviously better than Silky's or the Squirrel Hill Cafe. Very crispy with some interesting sauce choices. I went with the spicy triple cheese and I adored them.

I don't want to go overboard with my disdain for craft beer bars. I'm just saying that if they continue to reproduce at this alarming rate there will be nowhere left for me to smoke a ton of indoor cigarettes and drink $1.50 Yuenglings.

EDITORS NOTE: Fanattics no longer exists. It is now a beer bar called the Independent. 

Le Mardi Gras

It is god damn Mardi Gras all year long.

If someone has not heard of Le Mardi Gras, I just assume they aren't well versed in Pittsburgh drinking culture. This is one of the best bars in the city. Their drinks are remarkably strong, easily on par with Lefty's in the Strip. As a matter of fact, I really don't recommend having more than four or five Mardi Gras cocktails. They will kick your ass.

This is one of the only bars in the city where I will walk in and just tell the bartender to make whatever whiskey drink he feels like making. I realize this might not sound like a big deal, but I have serious trust issues when it comes to bars. There are only about twenty six bars worldwide where I will even consider ordering  a Manhattan or a Martini.

SECRET SAMMIES

One of the best kept Le Mardi Gras secrets is that on Sunday they offer free food to their patrons. Even though we visited on a Thursday, the owner, Rich, was kind enough to put some food out for us. These little touches are what make Mardi Gras more than just a bar. Honestly, if it wasn't for Mardi Gras I'd petition the city to burn down Shadyside. All those nice looking couples and fancy retail stores remind of a life I will never have as a lowly Southside dumpster rat.

Here are some of my favorite Le Mardi Gras features: smoking, table top pacman, excellent juke box, fantastic bartenders, intimate seating, dark ominous ambiance and lively patrons. According to Le Mardi Gras' website they've also hosted a variety of celebrities including Rocky Marciano, Harvey Kietel, Sammy Koufax, Sam McDowell, Billy Conn, Alice Cooper, George Clooney, Russell Crowe and Ted Danson. One day I hope that I'm important enough to be added to that list right between Clooney and Cooper. One day........

Chicken Latino

Quarter Chicken, Beans and Slaw

 

These Peruvians know their meat. The food at Chicken Latino doesn't look fancy, but it is delicious. The prices are insanely reasonable and the rotisserie chicken is very well seasoned. A quarter bird will only set you back $3.99. Throw in some yucca fries, some watery beans and some very mediocre cole-slaw and you've got a whole meal for less than ten bucks!

One of the best restaurant features is that they encourage BYOB. Nobody even batted an eyelash as we unleashed roughly four bottles of wine, two bottles of whiskey, about twenty beers and what was left of Rashan's bar. (Triple sec and bunch of crap, that's what.) However, they do close shop rather early. Get there by six or you might not even be guaranteed any delicious chicken let alone the opportunity to consume 35 drinks on premise.

There's a lot happening on the table.

The chicken itself is succulent and flavorful. A poor man's paradise. I've never ordered off of the American portion of the menu, but I can vouch for the quesadilla and the slow cooked pork. (Only available on weekends.) In general, I'd avoid the sides, the nachos and salsa and the desserts. All are reasonably priced, but entirely forgettable.

Here's a picture of some cake I wouldn't order again.

I want to add that the staff is very friendly and welcoming and the business seems to be sustained by repeat customers who pick-up chicken to take home. You won't have trouble finding a seat at the restaurant any day of the week.

Pusadee's Garden

Street Chicken

BYOB restaurants are the best. Particularly when they serve Thai food in a scenic urban garden. I've been coming to Pusadee's Garden for many years on the recommendation of my cheap-skate little brother who loves BYOB restaurants. While I don't think the food really outshines any other particular Thai eatery in Pittsburgh, the garden setting is truly iconic and the prices are acceptable. In terms of ranking Pittsburgh Thai restaurants, I'd put Pusadee's above Niky's Thai Kitchen and slightly below Spice Island Tea House and Thai Gourmet.

Most of the dishes are entirely delicious, including the Thai street chicken pictured above. If you love lightly fried chicken accompanied by sriracha, this will be your jam. Out of the spring rolls, pork meatballs and fried tofu, this fried chicken was the star of the show. (I'd actually avoid the pork meatballs, I thought they were gross.)

In addition to the chicken, the beer provided by the Three Rivers Alliance of Serious Home-brewers (TRASH) was fantastic. For more information visit http://trashhomebrewers.org/. Chris from TRASH was kind enough to offer us a keg of Oktoberfest and a keg of his own home-brewed IPA. We were thrilled to say the least, but I think the staff of Pusadee's was a little more than surprised when we rolled in with kegs. 

Frolicking in the garden.

I highly recommend Pusadee's for a casual garden dinner or as a lovely date spot. Be sure to bring your own keg and make some time for a garden frolic.

Cambod-Ican Kitchen

"There's vodka and then there's Platinum 7X" - Mark Bucklaw

Special thanks to our first host of Pittsburgh Happy Hour BYOB Month, Platinum 7X. Platinum 7X graciously donated these mini bottles of vodka for our consumption. I'm no vodka connoisseur, but I feel like clear spirits pair well with just about anything. Especially when you want to get drunk. Our goal was to do a blind taste test of Platinum 7X and the local Boyd and Blair potato vodka, but we had to settle for just the Platinum 7X. Again, I know nothing about vodka, but Platinum 7X was entirely smooth and palatable with a reasonable price tag. Thanks for sponsoring our event!


Cambod-Ican Kitchen is one of the few places in Pittsburgh where I knew that showing up with a sack of mini vodka bottles would not present an issue. I was first introduced to the restaurant eons ago as a young man drinking his way to certain stardom. Although they are open for dinner, Cambod-Ican really shines between the hours of 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. when they are the only non-pizza late night food option in town.

Fried tofu and mixed veggies with crispy noodles.

Most late night dinner guests partake in dishes such as "cat on a stick", egg rolls or the famous seafood wantons with moon sauce. But for the eight dollars left in my pocket after a night of heavy drinking I prefer the fried tofu with crispy noodles. The tofu is done perfectly and the crispy noodles are the height of perfection. Dark and crispy, but not overly chewy with a nice sweet finishing sauce. Kind of like how the crispy noodles used to be at Lu Lu's Noodle House in Oakland before that restaurant went terribly downhill and made me want to end my life. Something dark and unspeakable happened to the quality of the food at Lu Lu's and now I'd rather eat at Panda Express. 

Kielbasa

There's a certain pleasure to dining at Cambod-Ican specifically because it is not a fine dining establishment. Rather, this is a restaurant with locks on the bathroom doors, surly drunk customers, an extremely colorful owner and a non-traditional menu. Take for example the kielbasa kabob pictured above. What could possibly be more yinzer-oriented? Where do you go for non-pizza late night food options Pittsburgh?