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Friday, July 19, 2013

Readbeard's Downtown

DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN I EAT CHICKEN WINGS
I think one of my favorite aspects of happy hour is that I get to try everyone's food under the pretense that it is necessary because I am one of the most important happy hour food bloggers in Pittsburgh. Throughout the course of the evening I tried Krista's pizza, Christina's sandwich, New York's pasta, Jeff's pickles and a bunch of random french fries that I stole. I can't really say that anything was particularly bad or good.

Redbeard's has a very diverse menu, but honestly, I wouldn't order anything but the chicken wings. I have to give Redbeard's credit as the chicken wings at their downtown location were identical to the wings at their Mt. Washington location - that is to say they are fantastic. I really wouldn't recommend messing around with anything else, but these dummies ordered a bunch of pasta.

Pasta is murder.

All you can eat pasta is a scam. No one can eat enough pasta to make it worth their time. Additionally, who wants to eat a bunch of dumb pasta? After one serving I basically hate the stuff. Most of these people ordered the all you can eat pasta and had one bowl of pasta. For $13.95 I estimate that you can make roughly eight pounds of pasta. So basically, you need to eat about thirty servings of pasta in order to pull one over on the restaurant. I guess $13.95 really isn't that much to spend, I just have a hard time with the concept of  "all you can eat." I don't want to find out how much I can eat. I'm a disgusting monster. To quote Louis C.K., "I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal is not over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself."

 Redbeard's Bar and Grill on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Pittsburgh Restaurant Week PRO TIPS



Normally I limit my professional advice to fine bourbons, discounted cocktails and what style of beer to pair with chicken wings. However, the fantastic folks at Pittsburgh Restaurant Week have solicited advice regarding regarding how to approach fine dining during the week of August 12.

1) Check http://pittsburghrestaurantweek.com to make sure that your selected restaurant is actually participating this year!

2) Check your restaurant's Facebook page or Twitter to determine what special they will be offering. (If social media fails you may just have to pick up a phone, jerk.)

3) Use your basic math skills to determine if your restaurant is offering a bona fide special or just a re-purposed common menu offering.

4) Make a reservation! And fast, tables fill up quickly during Pittsburgh Restaurant Week.

5) Determine if your restaurant is BYOB and determine the applicable corkage fee. Depending on the structure of the corkage fee you may wish to bring one fancy bottle of wine or an entire thirty rack of natural light. Some restaurants just charge one blanket fee while others charge per bottle or per glass. Plan accordingly.

Natty Light = Office Romance


6) Call that girl/guy from the office, class, coffee shop or wherever. Woo her/him with your in-depth sensuous knowledge of the menu offerings of your chosen restaurant. Even if you don't get laid, the food should be pretty good.
  

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Silky's - Squirrel Hill

WINGOS
What do you call a restaurant with terrible service, great food and a decent atmosphere? Silky's! Don't get me wrong, I like Silky's. I really enjoyed myself. But here are some of the fun things we endured. The bartender asked for my name no less than seven times while charging for drinks. Each drink took roughly ten minutes to order. When my friend Ralph Larson tried to close his tab he said, "Larson." The bartender came back and said, "Carson?" he said, "no, Larson." She then walked back and said, "Jarson?" At which point he asked if that was even a real name.

 Also, I learned a new waitress trick. I saw the waitress grab beers that had been sitting around for several minutes and then stir them up with a straw so that it looked like they were freshly poured. REALLY? I'd rather have a headless beer than have my beer adulterated by some young strumpet. What Silky's lacked in service, they provided in the way of food.

Buckles enjoys some wingos.

These were not my chicken wings, but I ate some of them secret style while Buckles was out slapping the bag of meat. (This is not a euphemism, a local Redditor brought a 9lb bag of meat to happy hour and we took turns slapping it. There is a movie on Vine.) The wings were immaculate. An interesting crisp and a great flavor. They could have used more sauce, but the ranch and blue cheese provided with the wings were also very good. I'd compare the style of the wings to Gooski's in Polish Hill, but with a little less crunch.

BURGERTIME for NES.

When expatriates living in Europe bitch about not being able to get a good hamburger, this is the kind of hamburger they are talking about. This burger was succulent and delicious. Covered in blue cheese, mushrooms and bacon. I told myself I wasn't going to eat the whole thing, but then I did because of my low self esteem. Here's a picture of the bag of meat!

The heart wants what the heart wants.




Silky's on Urbanspoon